41st Anniversary

This morning was the annual anniversary commeration (March 16) at My Lai,(Son My). Since this was not a big year (41 yrs), the event was kind of low key with school children and a few vets in the audience. Party officials spoke and then different groups including us (Madison Quakers Inc) went forward to the large memorial, lit incense, bowed three times and placed incense sticks in an urn.One of the other groups who performed the ritual were the 4-5 survivors, survivors of the over 500 total killed at My Lai. Mike Boehm, head of Madison Quakers has established a tradition of playing the violin at the memorial. he dresses in a traditional (and hot) Vietnamese male dress and plays a haunting tune called the Farwell Waltz.So the event was short and very sweet and I was relieved that we did not have to listen to tons of speeches in Vietnamese. I was also grateful that Marge and Tinh and I had spent time at the museum and memorial last week when there were few people around and we could really meditate on the tragedy and loss.

From there we went over to the Tinh Khe school for another ceremony where Madison Quakers Inc handed over the funding for the building that was recently completed.The work feels important since Quang Ngai was one of the areas so devastated during the war.Marge said that the AFSC clinic has estimated one of every approximately 250 people had lost a limb.And most hamlets were burned or damaged. It seems like where ever we go, for whatever reason, we end up with some reminder of the war. I feel very aware that Americans are still so removed from the horror and damage of war that we experience it as abstract and theoretical. That keeps us from really confronting what we do to other people.

A busy time

As we get close to leaving, activity is picking up. Yesterday we held a formal meeting with education officials for the district and exchanged evaluations, gifts and words of mutual praise. Any negative information is saved for long after meetings.One delightful idiom is that people say, "We wish this meeting could go on forever...but.." One specific outcome was that the district people have resolved their misgivings and now want all schools in the district to have teacher aides! A big shift since we only got our approval letter the day we arrived.The headmaster mentioned that this is one of the most sensitive regions (Quang Ngai) because of heavy war activity (and My Lei)and our visit was a small step toward our shared peace. That felt good. Then we all went out for lunch with multiple toasts to shared success.

After that meeting, Our friends from Madison Quakers, Doh, Mike B. and Noel and a young education journalist from the city -proposed going out to the area where first the French, and then the Americans had quarters overlooking the sea.First we stopped at a remote memorial to nurses and doctors who were working in an underground hospital for the wounded VC. The clinic was discovered and then blown up by Americans, killing patients and nurses. Some of the tunnel to the hospital is still intact and we made a solomn and claustrophobic decent down the ladder.A memorial stands in front of 60 graves with no names. We burned incense and placed some on each grave, and prayed together.

Then we drove on to the cliffs overlooking the sea. Marge stayed on top to write while we clmbed down to hang-out at a beautiful bay.

Today we met Luu, our teacher friend for breakfast and then went to visit her family which includes her husband's grandfather of 99! When we took his picture he insisted on putting on his "dress" glasses. He has so many stories since he fought against the French and then the Americans.It is hard on this area to talk with anyone over 50 without a war story.A lot of sad stories,but also pride that Vietnam won and kept its Independance. Now they worry about the Chinese who already are making territorial claims on a few islands. Tomorrow we go tovisit compassion houses.

Life in the Village

A strong spirit of entrepreneurship prevails.Every household seems to sell something.Some along the road have full blown shops of course-bridal shops, gas stations, rice mills....Very hard working people.

The My Lai museum is one of the toughest places to visit as an American, but it is laid out as a sad, but peaceful place. The site is the actual village of My Lai, once a peaceful hamlet of the village of Son My, and Anthropogists have laid out a few foundations of houses, and bomb shelters, and one reconstructed peasant house. The foundations are designed to look like burnt huts,with statues of dead animals lying around it. Walkways between gardens are laid in cement with many footprints imprinted-small and large barefoot prints like a busy path in a village, and then, horribly, the large bootprints of American soldiers. The ditch where Lt.Calley and the 11th brigade lined up some 200 civilians and shot them,is filled with water and planted on the slopes. There are many donated trees and plantings from peace groups around the world and several statues of people in grief, and a Guernica like tile mural of the attack.

The small museum building is an emotionally draining place.The first thing you see is a large wall size bronze with the names and ages of the over 500 civilians killed in 2 days at My Lai, many,many children.The next display is a larege photo of the American helicopter pilot,Lt.Hugh Thompson who tried to stop Cally, and another large photo of the young American journalist who told the story and the American army photographer who took and kept the condeming photos. It is quite remarkable and compassionate to have these men honored here-we don't even remember their names in the U.S. Then there are the actual pictures-awful and heartbreaking war pictures of civilians being terroized and killed-corpses everywhere. and pieces of lives lost, a baby's shirt, a boy's torn school book. There is a well known photo of an old woman with a gun to her head, another of a man trying to shield his children. A full size diarama shows three U.S.soldiers with hate filled faces gunning down children and old people. and very very sad to me,there are 4 photos on the wall of young American soldiers who took part in the massacre. I see them as victims too and know they were wounded in their souls.

We went back to the peaceful gardens after the terrible displays and amazingly, we met two old women (80s) who survived the massacre forty years ago. The government has allowed them to grow rice on their old family plots. Marge talked to one and Tinh and I to another who was working her plot with her grand-daughter. She showed us her injuries and told us her story.She was one of the 6-7 people saved by Thompson and he had come back to visit her before he died. She saw her husband and one daughter and many neighbors killed by soldiers.Her entire village destroyed. We ended up giving the women money as they were still very poor.One woman told Marge, "If I take the money what will you eat?"I thought a moment about it being a "tourist trap,"but decided that no amount of money could make up for carrying those memories. And they were still growing their food,so not getting rich. She hugged me tightly and I felt so much loss for all of us. The place is quite remote and has few visitors except on anniversary days (March 16),but many veterans make their way there.That must be so hard for them.

Marge commented that the AFSC group working in Quang Ngai at that time (March 1968) knew about so many massacres in this disputed region that they could notunderstand why people were focused on My Lai. I think that the answer is that this was a story that got told, first of all.Most stories did not.Second, the fact that three young Americans were the ones to tell it mattered to the whole world. And still does. We left the place and went to worship at the Peace Park down the road. The peace Park has been built by Madison Quakers..

More Tinh Khe

Happy Women's Day

Chuc mung Ngay Quoc Te Phu Nu It is women's day here and this has become something like Mother's Day where women are given flowers and taken out to eat. At home they are said to be "Queens." Women also treat each other and Tinh has taken us to breakfast to eat chao suon, a yummy rice soup made with boied pork ribs. Later we will have lunch with the ladies who work at the hotel. They will serve us chao ga, chicken rice soup and veggies.We will give them a small gift of cash.

Yesterday, the children at school held special games-tug of war, sack races etc. My favorite was the slow bike race where the LAST one to cross the finishline wins.Teachers and children were all excited about who was winning.

In Tinh Khe

Finally found an Internet cafe by spotting the many, many bikes outside...boys play war games all day-sigh. For awhile Xmas tunes were playing...but the Internet works. Amazing since it is a storefront on a dusty road in a small village.It's very rural here so a whole new world of adventures, frustrations and fun. Marge, Tinh and I are teaching 3 & 4th grade and having a lot of fun. I can't wait to find a way to post photos of these very cute kids who surround us and practice their English everywhere we go. The English text and curriculum is geared to passing a written test (sound familar?) so we are focusing on spoken English and we have managed to throw in an Old Mac Donald and a few other songs and plays. The school which was built by Madison Quakers is bare bones but a huge improvement from the old school (My Lai Primary) now called Tinh Khe,and so much nicer than what the district could build alone. We've also held our worship on Sunday at the My Lai Peace Park, been swimming in the south China sea and eaten great sea food here. We're very busy and there are many needs, but it feels right to be here and we are warmly welcomes with many small and large gestures of friendship. Yesterday, the Headmaster invited us into his office to drink coconut milk right from the coconut.

Our lodging is a fading resort that looks out on the sea. We've had a lot of funny mishaps. This morning Marge was locked out of her room at 5:00 a.m. They ended up taking off the entire doorknob to get her in. When we complain about anything-like no water-they tells us, "well it's not a three Star hotel you know!" But is is reasonably clean and I did I mention-it overlooks the sea.

My Lai is a shadow here of course and not everyone is happy to see Americans-why would they be? But two old smiling ladies are tolerated and even enjoyed I'd say. Of course everyone is thrilled when Marge rattles in Vietnamese. more, much more about Tinh Khe later.