"Madame, You have many dollars"

Well, my 3rd day here and I am weary of the considerable poverty, endless begging, entries...I've talked to a few other travelers and we all agreed that we are actually spending more than we ever planned to because of guilt and sorrow. It does seem tough to haggle over a dollar, so in the tourist areas, one collapses and just gives it away. It is possible to be a backpacker tourist on very little money, but you have to harden yourself and stay out of the nicer tour areas.There are signs telling you to NOT give to child beggars since it encourages adults to use children that way. And huge government billboards try and scare the touring pedophiles with pictures of handcuffs and other dire consequences.Still, every public area and all temples are surrounded by pretty pitiful looking beggars.An army of monks prowls the streets begging during the day,and bigger armies of prostitutes at night.I am starting to remember fondly all the pesky,hard working and entrepreneurial street vendors in Hanoi trying to sell stuff.I imagine if you stick around Cambodia you figure out ways of balancing your needs with the ocean of poverty. I've met and seen a lot of wonderful young American and European people and orgs. working to keep kids out of the sex trade, and teach them job skills. And there are big parts of the city, relatively prosperous where NGO staff and other professionals live.But you can still go on a tour of huge garbage dumps where kids live and collect or go off to visit the huge orphanages, probably a better deal for many kids. Early this morning I went to the big square outside the palace where more well off parents and grandparents bring toddlers to buy corn and chase pigeons. Adorable,well dressed 2 & 3yr olds tear around and send clouds of pigeons flying.It's a treat to see.And I love seeing the scrubbed school children off to morning classes. I have no idea of percentages but I know many families who can afford it, give their government grant for schooling to families who need it. Not being mother Teresa, I confess I went to the Foreign Correspondent Club (FCC) for good coffee, fruit and banana bread this morning. Walking along the riverfront, I gave small change to a beggar with an artificial leg, watched people buy lotus flowers for the temples, watched a spirited game of soccer, saw fishermen throw nets on the river and tried to just be present in this surprising city. I am frequently amazed to remember that Pol Pot totally emptied the city, forcing everyone to go to the country or, if you were educated, to torture centers and executed. From such a ghost city, this new and ancient one has sprung up and lives.